Essential Parenting Plus Workshop

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1 & 2 Take Back Control VIDEO

 

3 Understanding Emotions VIDEO

 

4 Emotions, Reactions, Thoughts Cycle VIDEO

 

 

4A EPP Personal Exercise: Supporting Self-Control In Your Home

This worksheet is for your benefit only. For best results, be as honest as you can in order to create goals that support change. You can build a healthy foundation for your family.

Supporting Emotions, Thoughts and Reactions In Your Home

1. Does someone in your family struggle with emotions? (Choose all that apply.)
2. Explain in more detail:
3. Do any family members interfere with (try to stop, ignore or negate) the emotions of other family members (either on purpose or by habit)?
4. Why do you think they might address other's emotions this way?  If you're not sure, leave blank.
5.
Do you tend to struggle with emotions (including hiding or ignoring your emotions or letting them take over?)
6. If yes, explain more about this.
7. If applicable, what could you do to support a healthier emotional reaction?
8. Do you interfere with (try to stop, ignore or negate) the emotions of other family members (either on purpose or by habit)?
9. Why do you think you address other's emotions this way?
10. If applicable, what could you do to change this reaction to a more effective, problem-solving opportunity for both you and your family?
11. Does your reaction typically help improve things, keep it the same, or make it worse?
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5 Stress Basics and Deep Breathing VIDEO

 

 

6 Responding to Stress VIDEO

 

7 Stress Assignment Example VIDEO

 

 

 

7A EPP Personal Exercise: Take Control of Your Major Stressor

As noted on previous assignments, this worksheet is for your benefit. For best results, be as honest as you can in order to create goals that support change.

Take Control of Your Stressors

1.

Choose a Stressor You'd Like to Tackle Today.
Example:  I'm overwhelmed by the morning rush. No one is ready on time. We're late for school and work. 

2.

Set Your Goal for that Stressor
Example:  I'd like to be more prepared in the mornings so we can leave on time (by 7am) so we're on time for school and work. 

3.

List a major roadblock (what will get in your way of success)
Example: I can't get the kids up and ready on time. 

4.

Can you take control of this roadblock? 

5.

If Yes (or Maybe), What Steps Can You Take To Take Control? 
If No (or Maybe), Use the Space to Make Useful Notes or Questions. 
Examples: Maybe/No: I've tried waking them up earlier, turning on their lights/music, yelling, nothing has worked. 
Maybe/Yes: We can implement an earlier bedtime for the kids. Take the phones away at night. Place alarm clocks far away from the bed.

6.

List another major roadblock.
Example: There's so much to do in the morning: breakfast, getting dressed, gathering everyone's things ready.

7.

Can you take control of this roadblock? 

8.

If Yes (or Maybe), What Steps Can You Take To Take Control? 
If No (or Maybe), Use the Space to Make Useful Notes or Questions. 
Example: Yes, we can preplan the week and night before.

9.

List another major roadblock.
Example: My husband isn't available in the morning to help. He leaves earlier than I do. 

10.

Can you take control of this roadblock? 

11.

If Yes (or Maybe), What Steps Can You Take To Take Control? 
If No (or Maybe), Use the Space to Make Useful Notes or Questions.
Example: We can't change the time my husband has to leave for work. We can't risk him losing his job. 

12.

List another major roadblock-what will get in your way of success.
Example: If I continue to be late, my boss is going to let me go. 

13.

Can you take control of this roadblock? 

14.

If Yes (or Maybe), What Steps Can You Take To Take Control? 
If No (or Maybe), Use the Space to Make Useful Notes or Questions.
Example: Maybe. I could ask to come in 15 minutes late in exchange for a shorter lunch. But if we pre-plan better I won't have to. 

15.

(Optional if needed): Is there an additional major roadblock?

16.

Can you take control of this roadblock? 

17.

If Yes (or Maybe), What Steps Can You Take To Take Control? 
If No (or Maybe), Use the Space to Make Useful Notes or Questions. 

18.

Congratulations! You are ready to move forward.  Review your plan to overcome each roadblock.  Use these steps to create a set of goals.  Start with one goal at a time or a handful of small goals.


What first steps do you plan to take?

19. Any Questions, Concerns, Comments or Notes You'd like to Add:
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8 EPP Parenting Style VIDEO

 

8A Worksheet What Is Your Parenting Style?

What Is Your Parenting Style?

Answer these questions to determine your parenting style. If you want to make a difference in your parenting, you must BE HONEST!

 

9 EPP Parenting Styles After the Quiz VIDEO

 

 

 

9A EPP Personal Exercise: Understanding Your Personal Parenting Style

Parenting Styles Breakdown Worksheet

1. What parenting style did your results show?
2. Did the parenting style module provide any insight? (Mark all that apply.)
3. What parenting style trait(s) do you feel define(s) you the most at this time. (Check all that apply or add in other/comments.)
4. What parenting traits would you like to add, change, adjust or improve:
5. What are the reasons/concerns that make you want to change these traits?
6. What trait or trait(s) do you want to work on first.  (Suggestion: start with the most pressing concern or the easiest traits to change.)
7. What are the first steps you can take to work on changing this trait or adding traits?
8. Use this space for any additional notes or comments to support your family related to parenting styles.
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10 EPP Internally Guided Children VIDEO

 

 

10A EPP Personal Exercise: Inner Guided Worksheet

1. What are some of your children's interests?   (create a list for each child):
2. How can you support each child's interests?
3. Are there any interests you're struggling to support for any child?
4. Supporting Your Child's interests.
If yes, what is behind this struggle? (examples: Does the interest go against a core value or belief? Is it expensive to support? Is it something you're unfamiliar with?) Skip if not applicable.
5. Supporting Your Child's interests.
If you're struggling: what could you do to change this, if possible? (example: look for more affordable options, compromise, discuss your values/reasonsing with your child, look into acceptable alternatives) Skip if not applicable.
6.

Are you pushing your child(ren) toward an interest that's important to you, but not your child(ren)?

7.

My interests: 
If yes, what is behind this push?  (examples: reliving your youth through your child, the activity supports a core value or life lesson).  Skip if not applicable.

8.

My interests: 
Depending on your reasoning above, what can you do to increase your child's interest or participation?  Or is it best to let your child make his/her own decision regarding your interest? Skip if not applicable

9. Modeling Respect: Do you feel you currently model respect?   
If not so as much you'd like, what could you do to improve this? 
If yes, are there any issues or changes you'd like to note or address?
10. What steps could you take to start increasing the respect you're getting from your child(ren)?
11. In general do you take time to help your children/teens learn new tasks?
12. Do you get upset/angry with your child when a task is not completed properly?
13. What are specific "teaching" opportunities you'd like to address?  (examples: how to load the dishwasher, fold clothes properly, make the bed, the value of saving money, the value of earning money through chores).
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10B EPP Personal Exercise: Influences Worksheet

Influences

1. Do you believe you are a significant influence in your child's life at this time?
2. What are some simple steps you feel you could take to increase your influence on your child?  (Example: modeling my actions, more quality time, increasing communication opportunities, more patience, etc.)
3. Is your child showing visible signs of negative influences, or possibly hiding negative behavior?
4. Who else or what else do you feel is influencing your child the most at this time? List any influences you're aware of or concerned about.  (Examples include:  other adults, other parent, co-parent, peers, device use, peer pressure, major or minor life change, etc.)
5. What are some simple steps you can take to reduce the impact of any negative influences?  (Examples: monitor and reduce device time, limit device acessibility, monitor behavior or actions, open communication, set device downtimes, remove devices from rooms, monitor interactions with influential peers, set appropriate boundaries or rules, enforce boundaries, consult with specialists, school staff including social workers and teachers, etc, investigate or monitor your child more, ask questions, set and enforce consequences, increase your influence, enlist another trusted adult, change your modeling behavior, etc.) 
6. What reaonsable steps would you like to take to increase your ability to monitor your  children's oustide influences.
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10C EPP Personal Exercise: Modeling Worksheets

Understanding Modeling Worksheet

1. What habits/actions would you like to add/change/alter to increase your modeling role?
2. What are some simple first steps you can take to work on changing these habits?  Mark all that apply and/or use comment section to add useful notes. 
3. As a role model: what skills would you like to promote, share or learn with your child?
4. What simple, fun or interesting ways would you like to model/teach these skills?
5. What age-appropriate life lessons would you like to add to your daily or weekly routines?  (Choose all that apply or use the comment box to add your own.)
6. MODELING those Life Lessons: Mark any of these items that you personally want to improve or work on yourself.
7. What are some fun, simple ways to incorporate these life lessons into everyday quality moments: (example: shopping or cooking together, taking classes together, general modeling or showing your active efforts to change/grow, offering your child safe opportunities for trial and error or practice; using real life opportunities such as allowances or paying for broken items, etc.)  
Use the large comment box to add notes that will find the best first steps for your family.
8. Mark all the ways you currently model respect and all the ways you would like to improve, or use the comment space to add your own comments or notes.
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11 EPP Positive Interactions VIDEO

 

 

11A EPP Positive Interactions Worksheet

1. Do you encourage your child to try new things on his/her own? 
If yes, are you patient and supportive when they make mistakes or do you get frustrated easily?
2. Do you use controlling or negative methods (pushing, berating, getting angry, bullying or making fun of them) to force your child to behave or follow your requests? If yes, what are some ways you can work on more positive interactions and encouragement?
3. Do you try to recognize when your child is "being good?"
If no, why not? What's holding you back? What can you do to change this?
4. Are you willing to commit to catching your child "being good". 
What steps will help support this goal? 
5. What steps will help you work toward a positive interaction ratio of 5:2 with your children?  (At least five positive interactions and no more than two negative interactions.)

6. What steps will help you work toward a positive interaction ratio of 5:2 with your spouse or co-parent and other relationships?  (At least five positive interactions and no more than two negative interactions.)(At least five positive interactions and no more than two negative interactions.)

7. What UPCOMING activities or chores can you pay attention to in an effort to offer REAL encouragement and GENUINE praise?
8. If you use bribes to get your child(ren) to STOP behaving poorly, what plan of action will you use instead if your child is misbehaving?
9. If you commonly use rewards or treats that are costly, inconvenient or unhealthy (sugary treats), what alternative rewards would you like to implement instead?
10. What appropriate rewards/incentives would you like to use or already use: (examples: encouragement, specific praise, affection, time together, game time)? 
Create your list here.
11. What actions/responses will you rely on to immediately stop arguments/battles with your child? (examples: turning on music in the car, repeating "I've already answered that question", deep breathing, etc.).  List any options you feel will be most effective for you or already are effective.
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11B EPP Positive Connections Worksheet

Positive Interactions Worksheet

1.

Please be honest with your answers.  This activity is designed to determine the areas you'd like to personally work on in an effort to support you, your family and your children.  There is no judgement here, only personal success.  
Love and Affection:
I show my child: 

2. Do you feel you get enough QUANTITY time? 
With all children or some more than others?
3. What steps can you take to increase or maintain your QUANTITY time (if necessary)?  Are there hidden opportunities to add quantity time or to drop wasted time?
4. Do you feel you get enough QUALITY time? 
With all children or some more than others?
5. What steps can you take to increase or maintain your QUALITY time?  Are there hidden opportunities to increase time together? Ideas include: device downtime, setting work limits, working on chores together, sharing life lessons, ensuring dinner time schedules are set, creating weekly rituals or traditions, etc.)
6. List any additional ideas, plans or possibilities to increase family time.  What steps can you take to ensure they happen?
Examples: family night, movie night, learning something new together, learning more about your child's specific interests, driving kids around and listening to their conversation, taking cooking classes together, working side by side on chores, etc.  Be CREATIVE, but Be REALISTIC to your lifestyle.
7. Again, to get the most from this program, be honest.  There is no judgement only personalized support.
MODELING BEHAVIOR: 
Do you pay attention to your behavior in front of your child, including how you act, speak to and about others?
8. MODELING BEHAVIOR Other Close Adults: Is there another adult (such as a spouse or co-parent who struggles to model the best behavior?)  If so, you can't change or control the other person, but what steps could you take to support your child.  (Examples: calmly communicate with the other adult in private, limit interactions with the other adult in front of my child if possible, simply increase my modeling in support of positive behavior).
9. COMMUNICATION:  Check all that apply
10. Remember communication is key.  Even if your child appears to ignore your attempts.  Never give up!  You can give them space, meaning you don't have to push them to speak, just let them know the door is always open.  What are some ways that you could improve or increase communication and opportunities. (Examples: a family calendar, weekly family meetings, group texts if necessary).
11. Check all that apply.
MANAGING ARGUMENTS.
12. What are some steps you'd like to personally take to change the communication methods in your house or with your spouse/children.  Review the previous responses to choose what you'd like to target.  (Examples include: taking deep breaths or a moment to calm down; simply stop coming to the fight; not engage in arguments with my child beyond a brief explanation, add a consequence for anyone, including myself, who argues or yells; encourage a break for any family member on overload; practice modeling, remember the simple power of "no"; choose my battles if the issue is small, etc.) 
13.

Choose any and all responses that you feel comfortable supporting.
Making NO work for you (and your children):

14.

I commit to increasing the number of positive interactions I have with my children, and modeling positive interactions with other adults (including my spouse or co-parent). Use the comment section to add useful notes, including why you're not ready-sometimes it's best to start with goals you feel most comfortable with rather than every goal at once.  You can also use the comment bar for steps to reach your goal.

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12 EEP Punishment vs Discipline VIDEO

 

 

12A EEP Punishment vs Discipline Worksheet

Discipline and Punishment Worksheet

1.

What do you think about the concept of using discipline over punishment? 

2.

What do you like best and/or least about this concept? Use the comment box to expand your response. 

3. How does seeing yourself as a TEACHER change/support or improve your view of the parenting role? Use the comment box below to expand your thougths.
4. What first steps could you take to view yourself as your child’s most significant teacher?
Note: you don't have to chooose big steps or a lot of steps. Choose what will personally help you get started.  Add additional steps if you'd like, or return at a later date to add to these steps. 
5.

Choose all that apply. As always, be honest.  This question will provide insight as you move forward.


Do you currently tend to view punishment as the best form of discipline? 

6. Moving forward, how will discipline (rather than punishment)  support your family. Expand your thoughts in the comment box.
7. Check all that apply. Do You Think Using Discipline Over Punishment Will Help:
8.

Discipline vs. Punishment: What small steps can help you manage stressful/frustrating situations calmly & without anger/strong emotions?

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13 EEP Consequences VIDEO

 

 

13A EEP Consequences Worksheet

Understanding Consequences Worksheet

1.

Mark all that apply. Do you struggle with consequences?

2. Mark all that apply.) Do you find you set consequences that are:
3. If you feel guilty when you set or try to enforce a consequences, what could you do to reduce this feeling and ensure you follow through?
4.

STRUGGLING TO FOLLOW THROUGH:
Do you often:
-give your child multiple warnings
-threaten to discipline your child but not follow through
-bribe your child to stop negative behavior
-set a consequence then reduce it or skip it all together?
If you answered yes to any of these, what can you do to support your efforts to follow through more effectively?

5.

POTENTIAL SUPPORT WHEN STRUGGLING WITH CONSEQUENCE DEFIANCE:
If your child is aggressive when setting consequences, dismisses consequence, or violent, what steps can you take to improve cooperation? (Example: ask my child what consequence he/she believes is fair, continue to work on consequence consistency, contact a counselor, call the police for extreme violence and to ensure the safety of your child, etc., contact their social worker, pediatrician or counselor for support, review potential negative influences or issues (peers, addictions, depression, bullying, device use).
Be sure to choose the support/solutions that fit your family/child best.

6.

Mark all that apply. Do you ever include your child on potential consequences, discussing behavior issues, expectations, etc.?  

7.
8. After viewing the video, what general consequences do you feel might work best for common behaviorial issues. (There are no right/wrong choices. Mark all that you believe may support your child best.) Use this for Child 2 if applicable. 
9. After viewing the video, what general consequences do you feel might work best for common behaviorial issues.(There are no right/wrong choices. Mark all that you believe may support your child best.) Use this for Child 3 if applicable.
10. Use this space for notes on additional children or for added notes related to consequences.
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14 EEP What’s Behind the Behavior VIDEO

 

14A EEP What’s Behind the Behavior Worksheets

This worksheet is a bit long, and may require multiple submissions for large families. It’s highly recommended you still take your time filling out the worksheets for each child. Taking extra time today can provide valuable insight and support for each child.

What Is Behind the Behavior Activity-Child 1?

Please note: This worksheet is designed to complete for ONE child at a time. At the end of this worksheet, you will have the ability to complete the relevant questions for any additional child by checking the next tab. 

1. What is your child's name:
2. What is your age and gender:
3. Describe your child's general personality traits: (examples: shy, quiet, busy, aggressive, violent, non-aggressive, struggles to sit still, depressed, anxious, doesn't like conflict, emotional, introverted, easily angered, curious)
4. Has your child's behavior changed recently?
5. Are there any indications something is upsetting your child or affecting his/her behavior lately? Add helpful add any notations in the comment section.
6. Describe any traits or behaviors that concern you:
7. Has there been any MAJOR changes in your life lately?  (examples: moving, divorce, new school or grade, death, arguments, new stage).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of the change.
8. Could there be any minor or hidden changes/stressors in your child's life lately?  (examples: struggles with a friend, a teacher or class).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of possible issues.
9. Could there be something your child isn't sharing with you or able to communicate? Use the comment box to include helpful notes on how you can support your child without this information.
10.

Sometimes even minor issues to us, remain stressors in our child's life.  These stressors don't have to be present today to affect our kids.  Related triggers, such as music, certain peers, locations are comments can trigger our child's anxiety. Anniversary dates of past incidences (such as moving, a death or divorce) can also trigger the child.


Could there an issue in the past that may still be affecting your child today?

11. Has your child been diagnosed with an emotional, mental, physical or learning disability that may affect his/her behavior, actions or anxiety levels?  Use the comment box for any notes.
12.

If you answered "no" to the above question, feel free to skip this step. 
How does this tend to effect your child's behavior? 

13.

What helpful steps can you take to support you, your family and your child? (Examples: listing specific triggers to avoid, reaching out to a specialist or support group, sticking to a schedule, etc.)

14. Have you had a "gut" feeling about your child's health, safety or well-being that you have not been able to determine yet?
15. If yes, to the previous question, have you been able to find any support to get more information (example: asking a pediatrician, teacher, counselor, specialist, support group, etc.) Use the comment box to add helpful notes. 
16. Note any common triggers that effect your child's normal behavior.  (Mark all that apply) My child tends to struggle when:
17. What are some reasonable actions you would like to take to target specific behavioral issues. (Check all that apply.)
18. Is your child entering a new phase/stage in life and practicing his/her independence?
(Examples: toddler exploration, starting school, hormones or teenage independence). Use the comment field to make any helpful notes. 
19. It's not uncommon for children to misbehave to gain attention. This includes attention from peers (acting like the tough guy or class clown) as well as attention from us-the parents. Acting out may be your child's way of saying: "I feel scared, alone; I need more boundaries or discipline; I am angry or feel a lack of control; I am overwhelmed or struggling; My sibling gets more attention than I do; I am no good," etc.) Again, use the comment box for notes. 
Is it possible your child may be acting out  for attention?
20. Are you concerned your child may be struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, drugs, alcohol, bullying, peer pressure or other major concerns? Please note: This relates to children of almost every age-even elementary. This generation is facing one of the highest stress, depression and suicide rates seen in decades.  If you have ANY potential concerns at all, please reach out to a professional (physician, pediatrician, counselor, school social worker, your child's peer group, etc.).  Use the comment box, to make a definitive list of the steps you'll take to ensure your child's safety as best as you can.  Some children hide depression/dangerous behavior very well, others act out when struggling.)
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What Is Behind the Behavior Activity-Child 2

Please note: This worksheet is designed to complete for ONE child at a time. At the end of this worksheet, you will have the ability to complete the relevant questions for any additional child (if needed) by checking the next tab. 

1. What is your child's name:
2. What is your age and gender:
3. Describe your child's general personality traits: (examples: shy, quiet, busy, aggressive, violent, non-aggressive, struggles to sit still, depressed, anxious, doesn't like conflict, emotional, introverted, easily angered, curious)
4. Has your child's behavior changed recently?
5. Are there any indications something is upsetting your child or affecting his/her behavior lately? Add helpful add any notations in the comment section.
6. Describe any traits or behaviors that concern you:
7. Has there been any MAJOR changes in your life lately?  (examples: moving, divorce, new school or grade, death, arguments, new stage).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of the change.
8. Could there be any minor or hidden changes/stressors in your child's life lately?  (examples: struggles with a friend, a teacher or class).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of possible issues.
9. Could there be something your child isn't sharing with you or able to communicate? Use the comment box to include helpful notes on how you can support your child without this information.
10.

Sometimes even minor issues to us, remain stressors in our child's life.  These stressors don't have to be present today to affect our kids.  Related triggers, such as music, certain peers, locations are comments can trigger our child's anxiety. Anniversary dates of past incidences (such as moving, a death or divorce) can also trigger the child.


Could there an issue in the past that may still be affecting your child today?

11. Has your child been diagnosed with an emotional, mental, physical or learning disability that may affect his/her behavior, actions or anxiety levels?  Use the comment box for any notes.
12.

If you answered "no" to the above question, feel free to skip this step. 
How does this tend to effect your child's behavior? 

13.

What helpful steps can you take to support you, your family and your child? (Examples: listing specific triggers to avoid, reaching out to a specialist or support group, sticking to a schedule, etc.)

14. Have you had a "gut" feeling about your child's health, safety or well-being that you have not been able to determine yet?
15. If yes, to the previous question, have you been able to find any support to get more information (example: asking a pediatrician, teacher, counselor, specialist, support group, etc.) Use the comment box to add helpful notes. 
16. Note any common triggers that effect your child's normal behavior.  (Mark all that apply) My child tends to struggle when:
17. What are some reasonable actions you would like to take to target specific behavioral issues. (Check all that apply.)
18. Is your child entering a new phase/stage in life and practicing his/her independence?
(Examples: toddler exploration, starting school, hormones or teenage independence). Use the comment field to make any helpful notes. 
19. It's not uncommon for children to misbehave to gain attention. This includes attention from peers (acting like the tough guy or class clown) as well as attention from us-the parents. Acting out may be your child's way of saying: "I feel scared, alone; I need more boundaries or discipline; I am angry or feel a lack of control; I am overwhelmed or struggling; My sibling gets more attention than I do; I am no good," etc.) Again, use the comment box for notes. 
Is it possible your child may be acting out  for attention?
20. Are you concerned your child may be struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, drugs, alcohol, bullying, peer pressure or other major concerns? Please note: This relates to children of almost every age-even elementary. This generation is facing one of the highest stress, depression and suicide rates seen in decades.  If you have ANY potential concerns at all, please reach out to a professional (physician, pediatrician, counselor, school social worker, your child's peer group, etc.).  Use the comment box, to make a definitive list of the steps you'll take to ensure your child's safety as best as you can.  Some children hide depression/dangerous behavior very well, others act out when struggling.)
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What Is Behind the Behavior Activity-Child 3

Please note: This worksheet is designed to complete for ONE child at a time. At the end of this worksheet, you will have the ability to complete the relevant questions for any additional child by checking the next tab. 

1. What is your child's name:
2. What is your age and gender:
3. Describe your child's general personality traits: (examples: shy, quiet, busy, aggressive, violent, non-aggressive, struggles to sit still, depressed, anxious, doesn't like conflict, emotional, introverted, easily angered, curious)
4. Has your child's behavior changed recently?
5. Are there any indications something is upsetting your child or affecting his/her behavior lately? Add helpful add any notations in the comment section.
6. Describe any traits or behaviors that concern you:
7. Has there been any MAJOR changes in your life lately?  (examples: moving, divorce, new school or grade, death, arguments, new stage).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of the change.
8. Could there be any minor or hidden changes/stressors in your child's life lately?  (examples: struggles with a friend, a teacher or class).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of possible issues.
9. Could there be something your child isn't sharing with you or able to communicate? Use the comment box to include helpful notes on how you can support your child without this information.
10.

Sometimes even minor issues to us, remain stressors in our child's life.  These stressors don't have to be present today to affect our kids.  Related triggers, such as music, certain peers, locations are comments can trigger our child's anxiety. Anniversary dates of past incidences (such as moving, a death or divorce) can also trigger the child.


Could there an issue in the past that may still be affecting your child today?

11. Has your child been diagnosed with an emotional, mental, physical or learning disability that may affect his/her behavior, actions or anxiety levels?  Use the comment box for any notes.
12.

If you answered "no" to the above question, feel free to skip this step. 
How does this tend to effect your child's behavior? 

13.

What helpful steps can you take to support you, your family and your child? (Examples: listing specific triggers to avoid, reaching out to a specialist or support group, sticking to a schedule, etc.)

14. Have you had a "gut" feeling about your child's health, safety or well-being that you have not been able to determine yet?
15. If yes, to the previous question, have you been able to find any support to get more information (example: asking a pediatrician, teacher, counselor, specialist, support group, etc.) Use the comment box to add helpful notes. 
16. Note any common triggers that effect your child's normal behavior.  (Mark all that apply) My child tends to struggle when:
17. What are some reasonable actions you would like to take to target specific behavioral issues. (Check all that apply.)
18. Is your child entering a new phase/stage in life and practicing his/her independence?
(Examples: toddler exploration, starting school, hormones or teenage independence). Use the comment field to make any helpful notes. 
19. It's not uncommon for children to misbehave to gain attention. This includes attention from peers (acting like the tough guy or class clown) as well as attention from us-the parents. Acting out may be your child's way of saying: "I feel scared, alone; I need more boundaries or discipline; I am angry or feel a lack of control; I am overwhelmed or struggling; My sibling gets more attention than I do; I am no good," etc.) Again, use the comment box for notes. 
Is it possible your child may be acting out  for attention?
20. Are you concerned your child may be struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, drugs, alcohol, bullying, peer pressure or other major concerns? Please note: This relates to children of almost every age-even elementary. This generation is facing one of the highest stress, depression and suicide rates seen in decades.  If you have ANY potential concerns at all, please reach out to a professional (physician, pediatrician, counselor, school social worker, your child's peer group, etc.).  Use the comment box, to make a definitive list of the steps you'll take to ensure your child's safety as best as you can.  Some children hide depression/dangerous behavior very well, others act out when struggling.)
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What Is Behind the Behavior Activity-Child 4

Please note: This worksheet is designed to complete for ONE child at a time. At the end of this worksheet, you will have the ability to complete the relevant questions for any additional child by checking the next tab. 

1. What is your child's name:
2. What is your age and gender:
3. Describe your child's general personality traits: (examples: shy, quiet, busy, aggressive, violent, non-aggressive, struggles to sit still, depressed, anxious, doesn't like conflict, emotional, introverted, easily angered, curious)
4. Has your child's behavior changed recently?
5. Are there any indications something is upsetting your child or affecting his/her behavior lately? Add helpful add any notations in the comment section.
6. Describe any traits or behaviors that concern you:
7. Has there been any MAJOR changes in your life lately?  (examples: moving, divorce, new school or grade, death, arguments, new stage).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of the change.
8. Could there be any minor or hidden changes/stressors in your child's life lately?  (examples: struggles with a friend, a teacher or class).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of possible issues.
9. Could there be something your child isn't sharing with you or able to communicate? Use the comment box to include helpful notes on how you can support your child without this information.
10.

Sometimes even minor issues to us, remain stressors in our child's life.  These stressors don't have to be present today to affect our kids.  Related triggers, such as music, certain peers, locations are comments can trigger our child's anxiety. Anniversary dates of past incidences (such as moving, a death or divorce) can also trigger the child.




Could there an issue in the past that may still be affecting your child today?

11. Has your child been diagnosed with an emotional, mental, physical or learning disability that may affect his/her behavior, actions or anxiety levels?  Use the comment box for any notes.
12.

If you answered "no" to the above question, feel free to skip this step. 
How does this tend to effect your child's behavior? 

13.

What helpful steps can you take to support you, your family and your child? (Examples: listing specific triggers to avoid, reaching out to a specialist or support group, sticking to a schedule, etc.)

14. Have you had a "gut" feeling about your child's health, safety or well-being that you have not been able to determine yet?
15. If yes, to the previous question, have you been able to find any support to get more information (example: asking a pediatrician, teacher, counselor, specialist, support group, etc.) Use the comment box to add helpful notes. 
16. Note any common triggers that effect your child's normal behavior.  (Mark all that apply) My child tends to struggle when:
17. What are some reasonable actions you would like to take to target specific behavioral issues. (Check all that apply.)
18. Is your child entering a new phase/stage in life and practicing his/her independence?
(Examples: toddler exploration, starting school, hormones or teenage independence). Use the comment field to make any helpful notes. 
19. It's not uncommon for children to misbehave to gain attention. This includes attention from peers (acting like the tough guy or class clown) as well as attention from us-the parents. Acting out may be your child's way of saying: "I feel scared, alone; I need more boundaries or discipline; I am angry or feel a lack of control; I am overwhelmed or struggling; My sibling gets more attention than I do; I am no good," etc.) Again, use the comment box for notes. 
Is it possible your child may be acting out  for attention?
20. Are you concerned your child may be struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, drugs, alcohol, bullying, peer pressure or other major concerns? Please note: This relates to children of almost every age-even elementary. This generation is facing one of the highest stress, depression and suicide rates seen in decades.  If you have ANY potential concerns at all, please reach out to a professional (physician, pediatrician, counselor, school social worker, your child's peer group, etc.).  Use the comment box, to make a definitive list of the steps you'll take to ensure your child's safety as best as you can.  Some children hide depression/dangerous behavior very well, others act out when struggling.)
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What Is Behind the Behavior Activity-Child 5

Please note: This worksheet is designed to complete for ONE child at a time. At the end of this worksheet, you will have the ability to complete the relevant questions for any additional child by checking the next tab. 

1. What is your child's name:
2. What is your age and gender:
3. Describe your child's general personality traits: (examples: shy, quiet, busy, aggressive, violent, non-aggressive, struggles to sit still, depressed, anxious, doesn't like conflict, emotional, introverted, easily angered, curious)
4. Has your child's behavior changed recently?
5. Are there any indications something is upsetting your child or affecting his/her behavior lately? Add helpful add any notations in the comment section.
6. Describe any traits or behaviors that concern you:
7. Has there been any MAJOR changes in your life lately?  (examples: moving, divorce, new school or grade, death, arguments, new stage).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of the change.
8. Could there be any minor or hidden changes/stressors in your child's life lately?  (examples: struggles with a friend, a teacher or class).  If you choose yes, make a brief note of possible issues.
9. Could there be something your child isn't sharing with you or able to communicate? Use the comment box to include helpful notes on how you can support your child without this information.
10.

Sometimes even minor issues to us, remain stressors in our child's life.  These stressors don't have to be present today to affect our kids.  Related triggers, such as music, certain peers, locations are comments can trigger our child's anxiety. Anniversary dates of past incidences (such as moving, a death or divorce) can also trigger the child.


Could there an issue in the past that may still be affecting your child today?

11. Has your child been diagnosed with an emotional, mental, physical or learning disability that may affect his/her behavior, actions or anxiety levels?  Use the comment box for any notes.
12.

If you answered "no" to the above question, feel free to skip this step. 
How does this tend to effect your child's behavior? 

13.

What helpful steps can you take to support you, your family and your child? (Examples: listing specific triggers to avoid, reaching out to a specialist or support group, sticking to a schedule, etc.)

14. Have you had a "gut" feeling about your child's health, safety or well-being that you have not been able to determine yet?
15. If yes, to the previous question, have you been able to find any support to get more information (example: asking a pediatrician, teacher, counselor, specialist, support group, etc.) Use the comment box to add helpful notes. 
16. Note any common triggers that effect your child's normal behavior.  (Mark all that apply) My child tends to struggle when:
17. What are some reasonable actions you would like to take to target specific behavioral issues. (Check all that apply.)
18. Is your child entering a new phase/stage in life and practicing his/her independence?
(Examples: toddler exploration, starting school, hormones or teenage independence). Use the comment field to make any helpful notes. 
19. It's not uncommon for children to misbehave to gain attention. This includes attention from peers (acting like the tough guy or class clown) as well as attention from us-the parents. Acting out may be your child's way of saying: "I feel scared, alone; I need more boundaries or discipline; I am angry or feel a lack of control; I am overwhelmed or struggling; My sibling gets more attention than I do; I am no good," etc.) Again, use the comment box for notes. 
Is it possible your child may be acting out  for attention?
20. Are you concerned your child may be struggling with anxiety, stress, depression, drugs, alcohol, bullying, peer pressure or other major concerns? Please note: This relates to children of almost every age-even elementary. This generation is facing one of the highest stress, depression and suicide rates seen in decades.  If you have ANY potential concerns at all, please reach out to a professional (physician, pediatrician, counselor, school social worker, your child's peer group, etc.).  Use the comment box, to make a definitive list of the steps you'll take to ensure your child's safety as best as you can.  Some children hide depression/dangerous behavior very well, others act out when struggling.)
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15 The Three Questions VIDEO

 

15A The Three Questions Worksheet

Welcome to your Three Questions

1. What do you like/dislike about the "Three Questions"Module as it relates to supporting your family's needs.
2. PRACTICING "Three Questions":
Consider a recent or common behavioral issue with your child. Describe the incident here:
3. PRACTICING "Three Questions":
Consider Question #1: "What is Behind the Behavior?"
Thinking back to the possible reasons that may have lead to the behavior, list either what you believe was behind the behavior OR what you think could have attributed to the behavior.
4.

PRACTICING "Three Questions":
Consider Question #2: "What is My Reaction Teaching My Child?"
As always, to support your learning, be honest.  Describe your reaction below taking these questions into account:


How did you react? 
Why did you react that way? 
Was it a positive modeling experience or a negative one?   
If negative, what would you have liked you response to look like? 
What steps will help support your efforts to consistently model a response you'd prefer?

5.

PRACTICING "Three Questions":
Consider Question #3: "What Do I Want My Child to Learn?"
Take time to consider this answer.  Insight may come from the previous questions: what was behind the behavior, what am I modeling.  It may come from negative habits you'd like your child to improve.  It may even come from core values you'd like to instill or life lessons.   List any responses that support your effort. 

6.

PRACTICING "Three Questions"  CONSEQUENCES: 
Consider your responses to the previous questions.   Recognizing what is behind the behavior and what you'd like your child to learn from this experience: try to list potential consequences you believe could support your child's personal growth.    

7.

PRACTICING "Three Questions"  PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: 
If you could revisit this scenario, what would it look like now if you took the three questions into consideration: 

8.

Use this space for any notes that you'd like to address or consider.



The following questions below are OPTIONAL. 
Feel free to use them to practice "Three Questions" on additional situations or behaviors you'd like to review using this method.




 

9. ADDITIONAL PRACTICE: "Three Questions":
Consider a recent or common behavioralissue with your child. Describe the incident here:
10. ADDITIONAL PRACTICE:  "Three Questions":
Consider anoother recent or common behavioral issue with your child. Describe the incident here:
11. ADDITIONAL PRACTICE:  "Three Questions":
Consider Question #1: "What is Behind the Behavior?"
Thinking back to the possible reasons that may have lead to the behavior, list either what you believe was behind the behavior OR what you think could have attributed to the behavior.
12.

ADDITIONAL PRACTICE:  "Three Questions":
Consider Question #2: "What is My Reaction Teaching My Child?"
As always, to support your learning, be honest.  Describe your reaction below taking these questions into account:


How did you react? 
Why did you react that way? 
Was it a positive modeling experience or a negative one?   
If negative, what would you have liked you response to look like? 
What steps will help support your efforts to consistently model a response you'd prefer?

13.

ADDITIONAL PRACTICE:  "Three Questions":
Consider Question #3: "What Do I Want My Child to Learn?"
Take time to consider this answer.  Insight may come from the previous questions: what was behind the behavior, what am I modeling.  It may come from negative habits you'd like your child to improve.  It may even come from core values you'd like to instill or life lessons.   List any responses that support your effort. 

14.

ADDITIONAL PRACTICE: "Three Questions"  CONSEQUENCES: 
Consider your responses to the previous questions.   Recognizing what is behind the behavior and what you'd like your child to learn from this experience: try to list potential consequences you believe could support your child's personal growth.    

15.

ADDITIONAL PRACTICE: "Three Questions"  PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: 
If you could revisit this scenario, what would it look like now if you took the three questions into consideration: 

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16 The 6Cs VIDEO

 

16A The 6Cs Worksheet

6-Cs Worksheet

1.

6C CLEAR
Mark all that apply.  Do you currently have the following in place at this time:

2.

6C CLEAR (not required) 
For married parents or co-parents willing to work together (skip if not applicable).  Use the comment space to make any supportive notes.


My spouse, and/or co-parent need to work together to agree or be more clear on the following: 

3.

6C CLEAR
Are all family members aware of the items marked in question #1?
(household rules, any non-negotiable safety rules, general boundaries and expectations, related consequences, chores and responsibilities)
 

If not, use the comment section to note what steps need to take place to ensure your family has CLARITY.  Or make any notes to improve or maintain clarity already in place. 

4.

6C CONSISTENT
Consistent: parents ‘say what they mean, & mean what they say’. Consistency helps all family members (including children) know what to expect. 

(Check all that apply.) I NEED TO WORK on being MORE CONSISTENT in the following areas: 

5.

6C CONSISTENT (not required)
Use if applicable. For Married couples or co-parents willing to work together. Mark all that apply. Use the comment section to make any supportive notes on how you can improve consistency or continue to work together.

My spouse (co-parent) AGREES TO IMPROVE CONSISTENCY in the following areas: 

6.

6C CONSISTENT
There will be times when you'll be unable to maintain consistency. 
(Examples include: being in public place, an ill child, a child who may be acting out in response to a traumatic moment, traveling, visiting relatives with different rules, updating rules as kids reach new stages, or if a rule/consequence is not supportive, etc.)   

Mark any of the following that will personally SUPPORT your efforts when you're unable to maintain consistency:
(Note: to ensure success only choose what you can manage at this time.)

7.

6C COMMITTED:
A committed parent follows-through on promises, agreements. 


As best as I can, I COMMIT TO UPHOLD the following: 
(Note: to ensure succes only commit to what you can manage at this time.  You can always add to the list as you grow.)

8.

6C CARING:
Caring parents offer unconditional love, support and a safe environment. 
As best as I can, I will offer a caring environment in the following ways: (Choose only what you can offer at this time. Commit to additional efforts when you're ready.)

9.

6C COLLABORATIVE:


Collaborative parents include other family members in the decision-making process when appropriate.  This helps children gain tools in communication, problem-solving, negotiating while increasing cooperation. 

As best as I can, I will offer a collaborative environment in the following ways: 
(Choose only what you can offer at this time. Commit to additional efforts when you're ready.)

10.

6C CREATIVE:
Creative parents remember life is full of opportunities to learn, grow and have fun together as a family.

Use this space to list any ideas or thoughts you  have that can help you build a creative household plans that fits your family's "personality".

11.

6C CLEAR (not required) 
For married parents or co-parents willing to work together (skip if not applicable).  Use the comment space to make any supportive notes.


My spouse, and/or co-parent need to work together to agree or be more clear on the following: 

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17 Household Rules VIDEO

 

 

17A House Rules Worksheet

House Rules Worksheet

1.

CURRENT RULES (Mark all that apply)
Do you currently have a set of household rules (that):

2. Use this space for notes related to current household rules or steps you'd like to take regarding new rules.
3. Struggling to come up with a reasonable household list? 
Mark the options below that you would like to consider:
4. Need potential consequences for your household rules?  Choose any consequences  you'd like to consider:
5. Use this space for any notes you'd like to make regarding your personal household rules and/or related consequences.
6. Use this space to consider chores or responsiblities you would like to add, adjust or review.
7. Use this space to make notes on:
-specific issues related to any of your children who may need adjustments/added support due to personality, recent issues, limitations.
8. CONTRACTS: (Not required) Interested in using contracts in your home?  Contracts are a great way to support rules, create reliable agreements, reduce arguments, and more.  Mark any potential contracts that may be useful to your family or make notes of your own.  Keep in mind, contracts should be reviewed regularly,  updated as your family grows, etc.
9. Use this space to make notes on:
-discussions you would like to have with your spouse, partner or possible co-parent (if they are generally receptive to compromise)
10. Use this space to make notes on:
-potential discussions you'd like to have with your kids or during a family meeting.
11. READY FOR YOUR LIST?
If so, create your informal list of rules here.  Feel free to add the rules, related consequences and chores.   Use this list for your family meeting or to create your formal list--whatever works best for you:
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